有一天放学后，娃儿对着门大喊：“爸爸——”
“爸爸真是的，都不给我们开门。”
让我想起了他五六岁的时候经常对着窗外大喊，“爸爸、老公！”
哪怕爸爸只是去丢个垃圾，他以为爸爸又不在家了。
那一刻我就明白了。
他不是在抱怨。
他是在想爸爸。
看到爸爸不在家，心里难受，
于是用一种小幽默的方式，把那点想念说出来。
过了一会儿，他自己又补了一句：
“我希望爸爸天天在家，这样就能经常看到他了！”
我心里一软，
这孩子，真的太会爱人了。
为了能多一点和爸爸互动的机会，
他总是想尽各种办法，让我们三个人一起玩点新的花样。
有一阵子，连着四五晚，
到了固定时间就开始“召集”，
然后给我们说明游戏规则。
那种认真劲儿，好像在经营一个小型家庭项目。
我有时候会看着他发愣，
这些，不是本该我们大人去想的事吗？
可他，小小年纪，
却在努力让这个家维持着有互动、有笑声、有连接。
不是被要求的。
是他自己在推动。
有一天，我故意问他：
“今晚怎么没有新的游戏啊？”
他挠挹头，有点不好意思地说：
“我实在想不出来了……”
可只要他一有新的点子，
第一反应，还是，
把我们三个人都叫齐。
“来，一起玩。”
有这样的孩子，
真是太幸运了。
我常常想，他大概是我这辈子最大的福报。
他让我重新认识什么是爱——
不是控制，不是要求，不是必须。
是想念时会喊出来。
是开心时会拉着你一起玩。
是明明还很小，却愿意为这个家多付出一点点心思。
他也让我学会，
把情感说出口，
把爱表现出来，
把真实的自己活出来。
那些我们小时候来不及拥有、
甚至被悄悄压下去的东西，
在他身上，一点点长了出来。
而我，也在陪他长大的过程中，
慢慢学会温柔，
慢慢学会放慢，
慢慢学会，好好去爱。
婷妈的亲子日常 创作于 2026.02.26
原创发布： tingtingma.com
写给孩子，也写给正在成长的大人。
未经授权，请勿转载。
Ting Ma’s Parenting Diary | 203. The Way Love Is Expressed
One afternoon after school, my son stood at the door and shouted:
“Dad——”
“Dad, honestly! Why don’t you ever open the door for us?”
It reminded me of when he was five or six years old.
Back then, he would often shout out the window, “Dad! Husband!”
Even if his dad had only stepped out to throw away the trash,
he would assume Dad was gone.
In that moment, I understood.
He wasn’t complaining.
He was missing his dad.
Seeing that Dad wasn’t home made his heart ache a little,
so he used a bit of humor to express that small piece of longing.
A little while later, he added on his own:
“I wish Dad could stay home every day, so I could see him more often!”
My heart softened instantly.
This child truly knows how to love.
To create more chances to interact with his dad,
he is always thinking of ways to get the three of us to try something new together.
For a stretch of four or five nights in a row,
at a fixed time each evening,
he would begin to “assemble” us,
then carefully explain the rules of the game.
The seriousness on his face
felt like he was managing a small family project.
Sometimes I just stare at him.
Aren’t these the kinds of things
adults are supposed to think about?
And yet here he is,
so young,
trying to keep this family filled with interaction, laughter, and connection.
Not because he was told to.
Because he wants to.
One day, I teased him on purpose:
“Why isn’t there a new game tonight?”
He scratched his head, a little embarrassed.
“I really can’t think of one…”
But whenever he comes up with a new idea,
his first instinct is still—
to gather the three of us together.
“Come on. Let’s play.”
To have a child like this
is such a blessing.
I often think he may be the greatest gift of my life.
He has helped me rediscover what love truly is—
Not control.
Not obligation.
Not requirement.
Love is shouting when you miss someone.
Love is pulling you into a game when you’re happy.
Love is being so small, yet still wanting to put in a little extra effort for the family.
He has also taught me
to speak my feelings,
to express love,
to live as my true self.
Those precious things
we never had the chance to keep when we were young—
the things that were quietly suppressed—
are slowly growing back through him.
And as I grow alongside him,
I am slowly learning to soften,
to slow down,
and to love well.
Ting Ma’s Parenting Diary
Written on February 26, 2026
Originally published at: tingtingma.com
Written for children, and for the adults who are still growing.
Unauthorized reproduction is prohibited.
Originally written in Chinese by the author.
This English version was translated with the assistance of ChatGPT.