有天晚上实在太累了，睡前，我突然感慨了一句：
“真希望自己还是个孩子。”
娃儿立刻接话：
“如果你是小孩的话，那就没有我的存在，我会还没出生！”
我愣了一下，又试图换个角度：
“要不然这样吧，你当我爸吧？”
他几乎秒回：
“不行，那说明我比你走得早！”
我沉默三秒，反过来安慰他。
“放心吧，这些都只是假设。我至少会活到85岁，90岁也是可能的。那时候你已经60岁了，已经有家庭，有孙子孙女了都有可能。你不会孤独的。反正每个人都会死的。”
但再仔细想想，
我们每时每刻，其实都有可能离开这个世界，不是非要按年龄顺序来。
有一天，在放学的路上，他突然说：
“我觉得小孩子死掉的概率比大人低很多。哪个小孩子死了那可能真是运气不好了。”
当时我心里一紧。
因为我们这一代人，小时候是不能随便提“死”这个字的，大人会觉得不吉利。
但慢慢长大才发现：
如果我们从来不去理解“死亡”，又怎么真正理解“活着”？
前几年，有一天同事在聊天，突然问我：
“如果你死了，你打算怎么处理自己的身体？”
我当时直接愣住了：
这个问题我还真没想过。
但他们都分享得津津有味。
后来想想，好像也确实该想一想。
免得哪一天真的发生了，连自己都没准备好。
邻居也说过一件很有意思的事：
自从退休以后，她每天收到的邮件，几乎都是在推荐买墓地。
她说：
“突然觉得，死亡好像变成了一个被提前推销的商品。”
是的，我们很少认真谈死亡。
但其实，它从来都不遥远。
所以有一天，我看了个新闻后，也跟着做了一件事：
我把朋友圈翻了一遍，然后把所有内容都设置成对外可见。
不是为了什么仪式感，
只是突然有一个念头：
如果有一天我不在了，至少这个世界还能看到一点我曾经真实存在过的痕迹。
然后我才意识到一件事：
我们最容易忽略的，从来不是死亡本身，
而是，我们有没有好好活过自己这一生。
婷妈的亲子日常 创作于 2026.04.26
原创发布： tingtingma.com
写给孩子，也写给正在成长的大人。
未经授权，请勿转载。
Ting Mom Parenting Diary | 243. Life, Death, Children’s Logic, and What It Means to Be Alive
Last night, I was extremely tired. Right before going to sleep, I suddenly sighed and said:
“I really wish I were a child again.”
My kid immediately responded:
“If you were a child, then I wouldn’t exist. I wouldn’t even be born!”
I paused for a moment, then tried another angle:
“Then how about this—you be my dad?”
He replied almost instantly:
“No, because that would mean I die before you!”
I stayed silent for three seconds, then tried to comfort him instead.
“Don’t worry, these are just hypothetical thoughts. I’ll probably live until 85, maybe even 90. By then, you’ll be around 60, with your own family, maybe even grandchildren. You won’t be alone. Everyone dies eventually anyway.”
But when I think about it more carefully,
any of us could leave this world at any moment—it’s not necessarily determined by age order.
One day on the way home from school, he suddenly said:
“I think the chance of children dying is much lower than adults. If a child dies, it’s probably really bad luck.”
At that moment, I felt a slight shock inside.
Because when we were growing up, we were not allowed to casually mention the word “death.” Adults would think it was bad luck.
But as we grow older, we slowly realize:
If we never try to understand death, how can we truly understand life?
A few years ago, during a casual conversation, a colleague suddenly asked me:
“If you die, what do you want done with your body?”
I was completely stunned.
I had honestly never thought about that question before.
But everyone else seemed to discuss it quite casually and even with curiosity.
Later, I thought—maybe I really should think about it.
So that if it ever actually happens, I won’t be completely unprepared.
My neighbor also once shared something interesting:
After she retired, almost every email she received was about buying cemetery plots.
She said:
“It suddenly feels like death has become something people try to sell to you in advance.”
Yes, we rarely talk seriously about death.
But in truth, it is never far away.
One day, after reading a news article, I did something unexpected:
I went through my entire Moments (social feed) and made all posts publicly visible.
It wasn’t for any sense of ceremony.
It was just a sudden thought:
If one day I am no longer here, at least the world can still see traces that I truly existed.
Then I realized something:
What we most often overlook is not death itself,
but whether we have truly lived our own lives.
Tingma’s Parenting Diary
Written on April 26, 2026
Originally published at: tingtingma.com
Written for my child, and for the adults who are still growing.
Unauthorized reproduction is prohibited.
Originally written in Chinese by the author.
This English version was translated with the assistance of ChatGPT.