有一天中午，
我正在吃午饭。
娃儿突然拿着一罐饮料走过来，
嬉皮笑脸地递给我：
“妈妈，我觉得你值得喝一罐饮料。”
我看了他一眼。
瞬间就懂了。
哪里是什么觉得我值得喝。
分明是他自己想喝。
但又不好意思直接说。
于是换了个说法：
“我觉得你值得喝一罐饮料。”
……
问题来了。
他这样一说，
我总不能回答：
“你不值得喝。”
最后只好老老实实说：
“你自己喝吧，妈妈不想喝。”
果然，连愣都不带愣一秒的，
娃儿美滋滋地喝起了饮料。
⸻
还有一次。
我看到他拿着饮料，
一副想喝又不敢喝的样子。
我心想，难道我就那么小气连一瓶饮料都不让你喝吗。
我说：
“喝就喝吧，干嘛鬼鬼祟祟的？”
他有些心虚：
“可是我今天已经喝一瓶了。”
哦。原来坦白从宽。
我只能说，打都打开了。就喝吧。
这时候，他顿时没有了刚刚那种束手束脚的感觉。
⸻
最搞笑的是冰淇淋。
某天早上十点，
他突然想吃冰淇淋。
跑来问我：
“现在能吃吗？”
我说：
“想吃就吃呗。”
结果他自己反倒不同意：
“不行，要下午才能吃。”
“现在才十点。”
我愣了一下。
后来才想起来。
原来是他小时候，
我为了不让他一大早空腹就吃冰的，
曾经告诉过他：
“冰淇淋要下午才能吃。”
所谓下午，
在他的理解里，
必须过了十二点才算。
于是接下来一个小时，
他隔几分钟就来问一次：
“几点了？”
“几点了？”
“几点了？”
……
十一点的时候，
我实在被问得受不了了。
“想吃就吃吧，
别等了。”
然后顺口补了一句：
“记得也给我装一个。”
⸻
今天早上也很好笑。
早餐准备好了。
结果娃儿还在那儿抱着手机，
跟AI聊得热火朝天。
我对他说：
“吃饭啦！手机给我！”
他嬉皮笑脸，
一本正经地说：
“我还在用。”
“你不可以 disrupt me。”
换成其他孩子可能会表现出不高兴，他怎么还笑嘻嘻的。
我心里给他点了个赞。我问
“那还要多久？”
本来我是想问：
五分钟？
还是十分钟？
结果他来了一句：
“不知道。”
“我正在创作故事中。”
……
这一句话，
直接把我堵回去了。
作为一个天天写东西的人，
我太知道灵感有多重要了。
饭晚一点吃没关系。
灵感这东西，
错过了可能就没了。
于是我回答了声：“哦”
⸻
后来一个小时过去了。
他终于开始吃饭。
吃完吃到一半，他得进来我面前跳个舞，做个搞笑的动作。我知道，他就是想逗我笑。
我问：
“吃得怎么样了？”
他嬉皮笑脸地回答：
“很好。”
“我需要吃完。”
吃了这么久，看他态度好得不得了。让原来想说他几句的我，找不到任何说他的理由了。
婷妈的亲子日常 创作于 2026.06.01
原创发布： tingtingma.com
写给孩子，也写给正在成长的大人。
未经授权，请勿转载。
Tingma’s Parenting Diary | No. 272: Turns Out I’m the One Being Outsmarted
By Pingting
One day at lunchtime,
I was eating my lunch when my son suddenly walked over holding a can of soda.
With a big grin on his face, he handed it to me and said:
“Mom, I think you deserve a soda.”
I looked at him.
And instantly understood.
It wasn’t that he thought I deserved a soda.
He clearly wanted one himself.
He just didn’t want to say it directly.
So he changed the wording to:
“I think you deserve a soda.”
…
Now here’s the problem.
Once he put it that way,
I couldn’t exactly respond with:
“Well, you don’t deserve one.”
So I honestly replied:
“You can have it. Mommy doesn’t want one.”
Sure enough, without even pausing for a second,
he happily opened the soda and started drinking it.
⸻
Another time,
I saw him holding a soda,
looking like he wanted it but wasn’t quite sure if he should drink it.
I thought to myself,
Am I really such a stingy mom that he thinks he can’t have a soda?
So I said:
“If you want it, just drink it. Why are you acting so sneaky?”
He looked a little guilty.
“But I’ve already had one today.”
Oh.
So that’s what this was about.
I could only say:
“Well, it’s already open. Go ahead and drink it.”
The moment I said that,
all that hesitation instantly disappeared.
⸻
The funniest one involved ice cream.
One morning at ten o’clock,
he suddenly wanted ice cream.
He came over and asked:
“Can I have some now?”
I said:
“If you want some, go ahead.”
But to my surprise,
he disagreed.
“No. I have to wait until the afternoon.”
“It’s only ten o’clock.”
I paused for a moment.
Then I remembered.
When he was little,
I had told him not to eat ice cream first thing in the morning on an empty stomach.
So I used to say:
“Ice cream is for the afternoon.”
Apparently,
in his mind,
“afternoon” meant after twelve o’clock.
So for the next hour,
he kept coming back every few minutes asking:
“What time is it?”
“What time is it?”
“What time is it?”
…
By eleven o’clock,
I couldn’t take it anymore.
“If you want ice cream, just eat it.
Stop waiting.”
Then I casually added:
“Just make sure you get me some too.”
⸻
This morning was pretty funny too.
Breakfast was ready.
But my son was still sitting there with his phone,
completely absorbed in a conversation with AI.
I said:
“Breakfast is ready! Hand me the phone.”
With a grin on his face,
he replied very seriously:
“I’m still using it.”
“You can’t disrupt me.”
Most kids would probably sound annoyed when saying something like that.
But he was smiling the whole time.
I silently gave him points for that.
So I asked:
“How much longer?”
Originally, I was going to ask:
Five minutes?
Ten minutes?
Instead he answered:
“I don’t know.”
“I’m in the middle of creating a story.”
…
That one sentence completely stopped me in my tracks.
As someone who writes every day,
I know exactly how important inspiration can be.
Dinner can wait.
Inspiration can’t always be recovered once it’s gone.
So I simply replied:
“Oh.”
⸻
An hour later,
he finally started eating.
Halfway through his meal,
he came into the room,
did a little dance,
and made a goofy face.
I knew exactly what he was doing.
He was trying to make me laugh.
I asked:
“How’s lunch going?”
With his usual grin, he answered:
“Good.”
“I need to finish.”
He had been eating forever,
but his attitude was so cheerful and pleasant
that I couldn’t find a single reason to scold him anymore.
Tingma’s Parenting Diary
Written on June 1, 2026
Originally published at: tingtingma.com
Written for my child, and for the adults who are still growing.
Unauthorized reproduction is prohibited.
Originally written in Chinese by the author.
This English version was translated with the assistance of ChatGPT.