早上听到一句话：
“穷，不是你不够努力。”
我突然想起了一杯星巴克。
因为我发现，我好像花了三十多年，才真正舍得给自己买一杯饮料。
最近对钱的态度，确实发生了很大的改变。
现在对钱的看法是：
钱是美好的，钱是丰盛的，我配得上钱。
永远不要做着去追钱的事，而是要让钱来追着我们。
也就是说，让自己发光发亮。
不管是外在还是内在，当我们做到这一点的时候，根本不愁没钱花。
当一个人整天处在“我很苦，我命不好”这种状态下，往往吸引到的不是钱，而是一身的病。
不管是有钱还是没钱，第一桶金真的很重要。
开源节流，我们得防止钱不明不白地流走。
每个月清楚自己的收入和支出项目，非常重要。
我曾经是一个连一杯星巴克饮料都舍不得买的人。
从学生时代开始，图书馆外面排队买星巴克的学生多到数不清。
但好玩的是，我一次也没去过。
国内的奶茶店到处都是，如果不是请身边的人一起喝，我自己一个人也不会去花这个钱。
我觉得一杯对自己身体没好处的东西就得十几块钱，这不是傻子吗？
这大概是我持续了二十多年的想法吧。
上初中的时候，门口的烧烤真的很香。
不管再香再好吃，不管别人吃得多么津津有味，我一次也没去买过。
不是因为没钱，而是觉得钱得攒下来才是美德。
到后来，钱也在我们去上体育课的时候被小偷给偷走了。
后面又好不容易攒下了一笔零花钱，在我原以为已经很安全的地方放着，结果也是不明不白地不见了。
这么多年，我也一直很努力赚钱。
但是为什么会这么舍不得花钱呢？
我知道我要给自己和家人买保健品、护肤品。
为什么每次看到账单后，心里还是会有一种我是不是花钱太没节制的感觉呢？
在我意识到这些可能会成为我未来越来越好的绊脚石后，我开始反省自己。
我知道这种花钱的心态很不健康。
它也会影响我赚钱。
于是，我开始慢慢找答案。
原来从小到大，我们被灌输了太多观念：
钱不能乱花。
这些非必要品，取悦自己的东西，就是贪婪的行为。
不节俭，就不是美德。
于是，我被这些观念影响了，以为别人告诉我的都是对的。
直到去年有一天，一个老师给了我一粒咖啡牛奶糖。
我觉得太好吃了吧。
于是，我也开始下单买同样的咖啡奶糖。
有时候，我会一边吃一边做作业。
有意思的是，那种放松给了我好多好多灵感。
于是，我得出了一个结论：
一个人只要处在放松的状态下，是可以拥有比平常更加珍贵的创造力的。
于是，我开始观察我的孩子，我的学生。
还真是一样的情况。
当他们没有压力，处在玩的时候，所表现出来的状态是非常有魅力、非常吸引人的。
现在的我，想买星巴克就买。
想旅游就存旅游基金。
再也不敢让自己心穷了。
因为心穷还会影响到孩子。
有一天，我说我要买星巴克。
他说：
“你前几天刚喝过，你太贪婪了。”
我知道，可能是以前我太节俭了。
不知不觉，也影响到了他的金钱观。
还好，我现在意识到了。
马上改，还不晚。
原来，我整整花了三十年，
才慢慢学会允许自己快乐。
哈哈。
婷妈修心录 创作于 2026.05.30
原创发布： tingtingma.com
记录一个女人的觉醒，修复与内在成长。
未经授权，请勿转载。
Tingma’s Inner Work Journal | 21. It Took Me Thirty Years to Finally Buy Myself a Starbucks
This morning, I heard a phrase that really stayed with me:
“Being poor is not always because you don’t work hard enough.”
For some reason, it made me think of Starbucks.
Because I realized that it took me more than thirty years to finally feel comfortable buying myself a drink.
Recently, my relationship with money has changed a lot.
I now believe that money is good.
Money is abundance.
And I am worthy of having it.
Instead of chasing money all the time, I think we should focus on becoming the kind of person that money naturally flows toward.
In other words, we should work on becoming our best selves—both inside and out.
When we do that, money becomes a byproduct rather than the goal.
People who constantly tell themselves,
“My life is so hard.”
“I’m unlucky.”
“Nothing ever works out for me.”
often attract more stress and suffering than prosperity.
Not necessarily because of fate, but because they remain trapped in a mindset of scarcity.
Whether we have a lot of money or very little, building that first financial foundation is important.
We need to learn how to earn, save, and make sure our money is not slipping away without purpose.
Knowing where our income comes from and where it goes each month matters.
I used to be the kind of person who wouldn’t even buy herself a Starbucks drink.
Back when I was a student, there was always a long line outside the library.
Everyone seemed to be holding a Starbucks cup.
I never joined the line.
Not once.
Bubble tea shops were everywhere too.
If I wasn’t buying drinks for other people, I almost never bought one for myself.
My thinking was simple:
Why would anyone spend ten or fifteen dollars on something that isn’t even good for your health?
For more than twenty years, that was how I viewed money.
When I was in middle school, the barbecue stand outside the school gate smelled amazing.
My classmates loved it.
I never bought anything.
Not because I didn’t have money.
I genuinely believed that saving every dollar was a virtue.
Ironically, some of the money I worked so hard to save was later stolen while we were in PE class.
Another time, I carefully saved up some spending money and hid it in what I thought was a safe place.
One day, it simply disappeared.
Over the years, I worked hard and earned money.
But I kept asking myself:
Why is it so hard for me to spend money on myself?
I know I need to buy vitamins, skincare products, and things that support my family’s well-being.
So why do I still feel guilty whenever I see the bill?
When I realized this mindset might become an obstacle to my future growth, I started reflecting on it.
I knew this relationship with money wasn’t healthy.
And I knew it was affecting my ability to create more abundance in my life.
So I began looking for answers.
Eventually, I realized that I had absorbed many beliefs growing up:
“Money shouldn’t be wasted.”
“Buying things for yourself is selfish.”
“Enjoying unnecessary things is indulgent.”
“Being frugal is a virtue.”
For years, I accepted these ideas without questioning them.
I assumed they were true simply because I heard them so often.
Then one day last year, a colleague gave me a coffee-flavored milk candy.
I thought it was delicious.
So I ordered some for myself.
Sometimes I would eat one while working on assignments.
What surprised me was how relaxed I felt.
And that relaxed state gave me so many ideas.
That’s when I came to an important realization:
When people feel relaxed, they often become more creative.
Their minds become more open.
Their ideas flow more freely.
I started paying attention to my son and my students.
And I noticed the same thing.
When children feel free, playful, and unpressured, they become incredibly engaging and full of life.
Today, if I want a Starbucks drink, I buy one.
If I want to travel, I create a travel fund.
I no longer want to live with a scarcity mindset.
Because scarcity doesn’t just affect us.
It affects our children too.
One day I mentioned that I was going to buy Starbucks.
My son immediately replied:
“You just had one a few days ago. That’s greedy.”
I laughed.
But I also realized something.
Maybe my old habits had influenced his views about money without me even noticing.
Thankfully, I see it now.
And it’s not too late to change.
It turns out that it took me thirty years
to learn that I am allowed to enjoy life.
And that I am worthy of happiness.
Haha.
Tingma’s Inner Work Journal
Written on May 30, 2026
Original publication: tingtingma.com
A record of a woman’s determination,
healing, and inner growth.
Unauthorized reproduction is prohibited.
Originally written in Chinese by the author.
This English version was translated with the assistance of ChatGPT.