睡前，娃儿念叨着：
“我要是有台3D打印机就好了，我就可以打印很多东西了。”
我说：
“喜欢的话，我们也可以买啊。而且我们还认识D和A这两个3D打印机的专家。再说，也不贵，三四百而已，你自己的钱都够了！”
娃儿说：
“可是，我不想花钱，我要把钱存起来。”
然后又问：
“那个打印用的材料，是不是分开卖的？”
我说：
“可能吧！”
他接着说：
“好是好，就是有个问题，打印的时间太久了，有些东西要36个小时才能打印好。”
就在我还在想着现阶段给八岁娃儿买3D打印机是否合适的时候，
他已经把这个东西的问题都总结出来了。
我说：
“那我们等你再大一点再买吧。”
他答：
“好！”
他知道第二天有人来修空调，就随口提醒我：
“这个洗手间的排气是不是也要找人修一修？有点臭。”
原来他以为修空调和修排气是同一批人。
我说：
“在美国，人工费很贵。来我们家看一眼就要花钱，还不包括修理费。不过我们也不着急，这个太旧了，以后直接换新的就行了。”
他突然来了一句：
“对，打开门就行，还是免费的。”
听得我哭笑不得。
洗澡的时候，他突然想起幼儿园吃过的一个冰淇淋蛋糕。
“妈妈，你知道冰淇淋蛋糕很好吃吗？”
我说：
“你在哪里吃的？我听说过冰淇淋蛋糕！”
他说：
“幼儿园那个Eric你记得吗？他生日的时候带的就是这种蛋糕！”
我心想，这都快三年了，这件事他还记得。
果然，高敏感的孩子对很多事情都会记得很深。
我说：
“我想起来了，上次A生日，他们也买了冰淇淋蛋糕。超市里就有卖，我们改天去买吧！”
他说：
“好！”
没一会儿，他又说了一句：
“妈妈，有一次我把S写成了2，爸爸很大声地说：‘你怎么把S写成了2？’他为什么要那么大声地说话？”
接着他又说：
“三年前有一次我很开心，那个Olivia很大声、很凶地喊我‘Asher’，我被吓到了！她为什么那样？”
“还有那个Masha也是，上次突然对我很凶！”
那一刻我意识到：
这些在别人看来不算什么的小事，
在他那里，其实留下了痕迹。
如果没有一个他能理解、能接受的解释，
他会一直记着。
跟他妈妈一模一样。
于是我对他说：
“有些孩子小时候没有被父母好好对待过，
所以他们也不知道怎么好好对待身边的人。
但你要记住，这些都不是你的问题。
那是他们的问题。
我们只需要做好自己觉得对的事情。
至于别人怎么回应，那不是我们能控制的。”
可能这些话，他现在还不能完全理解。
他也许只是用一个很简单的方式去理解——
比如觉得“他们是在嫉妒”。
但至少，他已经在慢慢学一件事：
把不属于自己的，放回去。
这是一个人长大的开始。
婷妈的亲子日常 创作于 2026.04.03
原创发布： tingtingma.com
写给孩子，也写给正在成长的大人。
未经授权，请勿转载。
Tingma’s Parenting Diary | 225. It’s Not Your Problem
Before bed, my child murmured:
“I wish I had a 3D printer. I could print so many things.”
I said:
“If you like it, we can buy one. And we even know D and A—they’re experts in 3D printing. Besides, it’s not that expensive, just three or four hundred. You could even afford it with your own money.”
He said:
“But I don’t want to spend money. I want to save it.”
Then he asked:
“Are the printing materials sold separately?”
I said:
“Probably.”
He continued:
“It’s nice, but there’s one problem. It takes too long to print. Some things take 36 hours to finish.”
While I was still thinking about whether it was appropriate for an eight-year-old to have a 3D printer,
he had already figured out the downsides on his own.
I said:
“Let’s wait until you’re a little older to buy one.”
He replied:
“Okay.”
He knew someone was coming to fix the AC the next day, so he casually reminded me:
“Should we also get someone to fix the bathroom exhaust? It smells a little.”
It turned out he thought fixing the AC and the exhaust fan involved the same people.
I said:
“In the U.S., labor is expensive. Even just having someone come take a look costs money—and that doesn’t even include repairs. But we’re not in a rush. It’s pretty old anyway. We’ll just replace it with a new one later.”
He suddenly said:
“Right. Or we can just open the door—that’s free.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
While showering, he suddenly remembered an ice cream cake from kindergarten.
“Mom, do you know ice cream cake is really good?”
I said:
“Where did you have it? I’ve heard of ice cream cake!”
He said:
“Do you remember Eric from kindergarten? He brought that kind of cake for his birthday!”
I thought to myself—it’s been almost three years, and he still remembers.
Sure enough, highly sensitive kids remember things deeply.
I said:
“Oh right, I remember. At A’s birthday, they also had an ice cream cake. You can get it at the store. Let’s buy one sometime.”
He said:
“Okay!”
After a while, he said:
“Mom, one time I wrote S as a 2, and Dad said very loudly, ‘Why did you write S as a 2?’ Why did he have to speak so loudly?”
Then he added:
“Three years ago, I was really happy, and Olivia suddenly yelled ‘Asher!’ really loudly and angrily. It scared me! Why did she do that?”
“And Masha too—last time she suddenly spoke to me very harshly!”
At that moment, I realized:
Things that may seem small to others
had actually left a mark on him.
If he doesn’t find an explanation he can understand and accept,
he will keep remembering them.
Just like his mom.
So I told him:
“Some children weren’t treated well by their parents when they were little,
so they don’t know how to treat others well.
But you need to remember—this is not your problem.
It’s their problem.
We just need to do what we believe is right.
How others respond is not something we can control.”
Maybe he can’t fully understand this yet.
He might just interpret it in a simple way for now—
like thinking, “Maybe they’re jealous.”
But at least, he is slowly learning something:
To return what doesn’t belong to him.
And that
is the beginning of growing up.
Tingma’s Parenting Diary
Written on April 03, 2026
Originally published at: tingtingma.com
Written for my child, and for the adults who are still growing.
Unauthorized reproduction is prohibited.
Originally written in Chinese by the author.
This English version was translated with the assistance of ChatGPT.