某天，
娃儿突然一脸严肃地对我说：
“妈妈，我小的时候，有一次我把药喝得到处都是，你很大声地凶我。”
我心里一紧。
第一反应就是：
完了，这下创伤被翻出来了。
我立刻认真起来，问他：
“啊，那真的很不应该。
你当时是不是很难过？
那是什么时候的事？”
他开始回忆：
“那时候我们还住在 D…
不不不，是 C。”
我继续顺着问：
“那爸爸呢？
是不是妈妈当时一个人忙不过来，有点着急？”
他说：
“不是，他在家。”
我愣了一下：
“那他怎么不进来帮忙？”
他说：
“我不知道，他好像在厨房。”
我想了一下，继续问他：
“那你现在还会因为这件事难过吗？”
他说：
“有一点。”
我看着他，问了一句：
“那你觉得，怎么样你会好一点？”
他几乎没有犹豫：
“你给我买个玩具吧。”
我心里笑了一下。
这转折，有点快。
我试探着说：
“那我周末请你吃一顿麦当劳？”
他立刻摇头：
“我不要这么便宜的，我要玩具。”
我继续努力：
“麦当劳儿童套餐也有玩具啊。”
他说得很认真：
“现在那个系列我不喜欢。”
我直接放弃：
“行，那先欠着。”
说完我突然反应过来——
我们刚刚不是在聊童年创伤吗？
怎么变成谈条件了。
第二天，他又来找我：
“妈妈，你还记不记得小时候你凶我的事？”
我很自然地接了一句：
“记得，还欠你一个。”
他想了一下，说：
“那这样吧，这个周末，两天，我来安排。”
我立刻补一句：
“可以你来安排，
但不能一直看电视。”
他说：
“不是，我是说我想去找我的朋友 K 玩。”
我愣了一下，然后笑了：
“好啊。”
那一刻我突然有点恍惚。
他好像已经不是那个
被我凶的小孩了。
他现在，是一个
会自己安排周末生活的人。
于是，这个周末，
就交给他了。
有时候会觉得，
所谓的“创伤”，
好像也不一定需要一个多完美的修复。
很多时候，
它就这样，在一次次对话里，
慢慢变成——
一点理解，
一点拉扯，
再加一点点好笑。
最后落在一句很现实的话上：
“那这个周末，我自己安排。”
婷妈的亲子日常 创作于 2026.04.13
原创发布： tingtingma.com
写给孩子，也写给正在成长的大人。
未经授权，请勿转载。
Tingma’s Parenting Journal | 229. From “Childhood Trauma” to “Weekend Plans”
One day,
my son suddenly looked at me very seriously and said:
“Mom, when I was little,
there was one time I spilled medicine everywhere,
and you yelled at me really loudly.”
My heart skipped a beat.
My first thought was:
Oh no…
here comes the childhood trauma.
I immediately shifted into serious mode and asked:
“Oh… that really wasn’t okay.
Were you really upset back then?
When did that happen?”
He started trying to remember:
“That was when we were still living in D…
No no, C.”
I followed up:
“Where was Daddy?
Was Mommy overwhelmed and a bit stressed at the time?”
He said:
“No, he was home.”
I paused:
“Then why didn’t he come help?”
He said honestly:
“I don’t know.
He was probably in the kitchen.”
I thought for a moment, then asked:
“Do you still feel sad about it now?”
He said:
“A little.”
I looked at him and asked:
“What do you think would make you feel better?”
He answered almost instantly:
“You can buy me a toy.”
I couldn’t help but smile inside.
That escalated quickly.
I tried to negotiate:
“How about I take you to McDonald’s this weekend?”
He shook his head immediately:
“No, that’s too cheap. I want a toy.”
I kept trying:
“But the kids’ meal comes with a toy.”
He said very seriously:
“I don’t like the current series.”
I gave up:
“Alright, I owe you one then.”
And right after I said that,
it suddenly hit me—
Weren’t we just talking about childhood trauma?
How did this turn into a negotiation?
The next day, he came back again:
“Mom, do you remember that time you yelled at me when I was little?”
I replied naturally:
“I remember. I still owe you one.”
He thought for a moment, then said:
“How about this—
this weekend, both days, I make the plans.”
I immediately added:
“You can plan,
but you can’t watch TV all day.”
He clarified:
“No, I mean I want to go play with my friend K.”
I paused for a second, then smiled:
“Okay.”
In that moment, something shifted.
He didn’t feel like that little boy
who had been yelled at anymore.
He felt like someone
who could plan his own weekend.
So this weekend—
I’m letting him take the lead.
Sometimes I think,
what we call “trauma”
doesn’t always need a perfect kind of healing.
More often,
it slowly transforms through conversations like these—
a little understanding,
a little back-and-forth,
and a little bit of humor.
And in the end,
it lands in a very simple, very real sentence:
“This weekend, I’ll make the plans.”
Tingma’s Parenting Journal
Written on April 13, 2026
Originally published on: tingtingma.com
Written for my child,
and for every adult who is still growing.
Unauthorized reproduction is prohibited.
Originally written in Chinese by the author.
This English version was translated with the assistance of ChatGPT.