有一天，娃儿突然跟我说：

“妈妈，我想办生日派对。”

其实，我不是不愿意给他办。

只是想到要联系家长、邀请同学、准备食物、安排场地……

我这个社恐，光想想就开始头大。

如果只是请一两个我认识的朋友和他们的孩子，我一点压力都没有。

于是，我试着跟他商量：

“要不我们不办生日派对了？妈妈带你去儿童酒店乐园玩几天，好不好？”

没想到，他越说越激动。

“酒店乐园不能代替生日派对！那里又没有朋友！”

于是，我也把自己的难处告诉了他。

我还补充了一句：

“如果邀请很多彼此不认识的家长，他们也会觉得尴尬吧。”

（虽然，现在想想，大部分家长可能根本不会觉得尴尬。😂）

没想到，他认真地对我说：

“生日一年只有一次。过一年，就少一次办生日派对的机会。我以前都没有办过。如果再不给我办，我就去找别人当父母了。”

……

听到这里，我心想：

看来，这次是真躲不过去了。

人家都开始说要去找别人当父母了。🤣

不过，我心里也有一点高兴。

因为这是我第一次看到，他这么认真、这么坚定地为自己的需求发声。

于是，我开始认真思考：

要不要办一个小一点的生日派对？

还是办一个大一点的？

没想到，他居然答应了先办小一点。

虽然我知道，他真正想要的，其实是一场热热闹闹的大派对。

我告诉他：

“我们再慢慢讨论，看看怎么安排最好。”

当天晚上，他居然因为一直想着生日派对，兴奋得睡不着。

他拿着 iPad 做起了计划。

主题是什么？

邀请谁？

准备哪些食物？

买几个西瓜？

几个 Pizza？

要不要做蛋挞？

在哪里办？

家里？公园？还是别的地方？

可以玩哪些游戏？

期间，他又一本正经地说：

“妈妈，我们要在框外想事情。”

我愣了一下。

框外想事情？

一个生日派对，跟“框外思考”到底是怎么联系上的？

我想了半天，也没想明白。😂

第二天晚上，我们散步的时候，他又主动说：

“妈妈，我们来讨论一下生日派对吧。”

接着，他开始分析：

谁和谁比较熟？

哪些家长彼此认识？

这样大家来了，也不会觉得尴尬。

我突然愣了一下。

原来，我昨天随口说的一句话，他真的放在心里了。

他已经开始试着站在别人的角度思考了。

很遗憾的是，那天我们决定重新设置 iPad。

我一个不小心，把他辛辛苦苦整理了很久的生日派对笔记，全删掉了。

我心里一惊。

想着：

完了。

这下肯定要哭了。

没想到，他眼眶红了，快哭了，却一直忍着。

最后只是说了一句：

“我不写了。你是故意的。”

其实，他知道我不是故意的。

我也知道，他说我是故意的，并不是真的这样认为。

他只是有一点委屈，也有一点生气。

毕竟，那是他花了很久、满怀期待做出来的计划。

至于生日派对，

他还有一个月可以慢慢计划。

而我，

也还有一个月，好好做做自己的思想工作。

争取战胜我的社恐。

希望到了生日那天，

我们都能完成一点点成长。😊

婷妈的亲子日常 创作于 2026.06.28

原创发布： tingtingma.com

写给孩子，也写给正在成长的大人。

未经授权，请勿转载。

Tingting Mom’s Parenting Journal | 292. Birthday Party

One day, my son suddenly said to me,

“Mom, I want to have a birthday party.”

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to give him one.

It was just that the thought of contacting parents, inviting classmates, preparing food, arranging a venue…

As an introvert with a bit of social anxiety, I felt overwhelmed just thinking about it.

If it were only one or two families I already knew well, I wouldn’t feel any pressure at all.

So I tried to negotiate.

“How about we skip the birthday party? Mommy can take you to an indoor water park hotel for a few days instead.”

To my surprise, he became more and more emotional.

“A hotel can’t replace a birthday party! My friends won’t be there!”

So I explained my concerns to him.

I even added,

“If we invite a lot of parents who don’t know each other, they might feel awkward.”

(Although, looking back now, most parents probably wouldn’t feel awkward at all. 😂)

He looked at me seriously and said,

“You only have one birthday every year. Every year that passes is one less chance to have a birthday party. I’ve never really had one before. If you still won’t let me have one, I’ll find someone else to be my parents.”

…

At that moment, I thought,

Well… I guess I’m not getting out of this one.

He’s already talking about finding new parents. 🤣

But at the same time, I felt a little happy.

It was the first time I had seen him speak up for something he truly wanted—with such determination.

So I started thinking seriously.

Should we have a small party?

Or should we go all out and have a big one?

To my surprise, he agreed that we could start with a smaller party.

Even though I knew what he really wanted was a big celebration with lots of friends.

I told him,

“Let’s keep talking about it and figure out the best plan together.”

That night, he was so excited about the birthday party that he couldn’t fall asleep.

He grabbed his iPad and started making plans.

What’s the theme?

Who should we invite?

What food should we prepare?

How many watermelons?

How many pizzas?

Should we make egg tarts?

Where should we have it?

At home?

At the park?

Somewhere else?

What games should everyone play?

Then, all of a sudden, he said something that made me laugh.

“Mom, we need to think outside the box.”

I paused.

Think outside the box?

How did planning a birthday party suddenly become an exercise in thinking outside the box?

I couldn’t quite figure out the connection. 😂

The next evening, while we were taking a walk, he brought up the birthday party again.

“Mom, let’s talk about the party.”

Then he started analyzing everything.

Who already knows whom?

Which parents are friends with each other?

That way, everyone would feel comfortable.

I suddenly stopped walking for a second.

A comment I had casually made the day before…

He had actually remembered it.

He had already started thinking from other people’s perspective.

Unfortunately, later that day we decided to reset his iPad.

By accident, I deleted all of the birthday party notes he had spent so much time putting together.

My heart skipped a beat.

Oh no.

He’s definitely going to cry.

His eyes filled with tears.

He looked like he was about to cry…

But he didn’t.

Instead, he quietly said,

“I’m not writing it again. You did it on purpose.”

Of course, he knew I hadn’t done it on purpose.

And I knew he didn’t really believe I had.

He was just disappointed.

And a little upset.

After all, that plan represented hours of excitement, imagination, and anticipation.

As for the birthday party…

He still has a month to keep planning it.

And I still have a month

to prepare myself,

and hopefully overcome a little of my social anxiety.

Maybe by the time his birthday arrives,

both of us will have grown just a little.

Tingma’s Parenting Diary
Written on June 28, 2026

Originally published at: tingtingma.com

Written for my child, and for the adults who are still growing.
Unauthorized reproduction is prohibited.

Originally written in Chinese by the author.
This English version was translated with the assistance of ChatGPT.