娃儿小提琴演奏表演的前一天，
我其实有一点点担心。
原因很简单，
他在家，几乎不练。
我也没有去逼他。
但临到要上台了，
心里还是忍不住会想：
“这样真的可以吗？”
那天晚上，我还是问了一句：
“你们明天表演的时候，可以看谱吗？”
他说：
“不让看。”
我下意识又问了一句：
“那要是忘了怎么办？”
话一出口，我自己就后悔了。
这句话，太像“不信任”了。
于是我赶紧换了一种说法：
“那如果有学生忘谱了，怎么办呢？”
他愣了一下，想都没想，说了一句：
“Too bad, too sad.”
……
还押韵。
我当场就被他逗笑了。
那一刻我突然觉得——
他其实，并没有我想象的那么“需要被担心”。
第二天，表演结束。
我问他：
“你紧张吗？”
他说：
“不紧张。”
就这么简单。
但其实，在这之前，
他还因为这场演奏，错过了最喜欢的漫画社团，
为此抱怨了好几次。
我一度以为，
这件事对他来说，是“被迫”的。
结果没想到，
表演结束之后，
他居然开始喜欢上拉小提琴了。
那种状态，是很明显的。
不是被夸后的开心，
而是那种，
“我可以”的感觉。
看着他那种自信满满的样子，
我突然有点明白了：
有些自信，
不是靠反复练习“堆”出来的。
而是，
真的去做了一次，
并且发现：
“原来我可以。”
那一刻，
比一百次准备，都更有力量。
而我，站在旁边，
只是很安静地，看见了这一切。
然后，跟着他一起开心。
婷妈的亲子日常 创作于 2026.04.22
原创发布： tingtingma.com
写给孩子，也写给正在成长的大人。
未经授权，请勿转载。
Tingma’s Parenting Diary | #239. It Turns Out Confidence Isn’t Built Through Practice
The day before my son’s violin performance,
I felt a little worried.
The reason was simple—
he barely practiced at home.
And I didn’t force him to.
But as the performance got closer,
I couldn’t help thinking:
“Is this really going to be okay?”
That evening, I still asked:
“Will you be allowed to look at the sheet music during the performance?”
He said:
“No.”
I instinctively followed up:
“What if you forget?”
The moment I said it, I regretted it.
That sounded too much like a lack of trust.
So I quickly changed the way I asked:
“Then what happens if a student forgets the music?”
He paused for a second, then without thinking said:
“Too bad, too sad.”
……
And it rhymed.
I burst out laughing right there.
At that moment, I suddenly realized—
he might not need as much worrying as I thought.
The next day, after the performance,
I asked him:
“Were you nervous?”
He said:
“No.”
Just like that.
But actually, before all this—
he had complained several times
because this performance made him miss his favorite comic club.
For a while, I thought
this was something he was being forced to do.
But unexpectedly—
after the performance,
he actually started to like playing the violin.
It was very obvious.
Not the kind of happiness that comes from being praised,
but that feeling of—
“I can do it.”
Watching him in that confident state,
I suddenly understood something:
Some confidence
is not built by piling up practice.
It comes from—
actually doing it once,
and realizing:
“I can.”
That moment
is more powerful than a hundred times of preparation.
And I stood there,
quietly witnessing all of it.
And then,
I felt happy right along with him.
Tingma’s Parenting Diary
Written on April 22, 2026
Originally published at: tingtingma.com
Written for my child, and for the adults who are still growing.
Unauthorized reproduction is prohibited.
Originally written in Chinese by the author.
This English version was translated with the assistance of ChatGPT.