一天早上，上学前。
娃儿突然说：
“我要上厕所。”
我心里其实有点紧，
因为，怕迟到。
但也没有别的办法，只能说：
“去吧，快一点。”
五分钟过去了，还没出来。
我开始有点着急。
语气，也慢慢变了。
他大概是感受到了我的情绪，
在厕所里，试图安抚我。
然后来了一句：
“哪个更重要？
上学，还是爆炸？”
……
我当场就被逗笑了。
这句话，其实是我以前跟他说的。
因为他小时候，总是憋到最后一刻才去厕所。
我为了让他早点去，就跟他说：
“再憋下去会爆炸。”
没想到，这一天，
他原封不动地还给我了。
我只好默默回了一句：
“爆炸。”
然后，继续等他。
那天下午放学后，我们去买口腔喷雾。
先去了 CVS，没有。
又去了 Walmart，还是没有。
他就这样，一家一家跟着我找。
没买到，
也没有抱怨，
也没有不耐烦。
就在要离开 Walmart 的时候，
他突然问了一句：
“妈妈，我可以把鞋子踢到空中，让它翻转一下吗？”
我愣了一下。
第一反应是：
这还需要问我吗？
但我马上意识到，
他是在公共场所，
他其实是在试探：
“这样做，合不合适？”
我说：
“可以啊，why not？”
他马上把鞋子踢到空中。
翻了一下。
然后自己笑了。
那种笑，是很轻的，
但很满足。
那一刻，我突然在想：
这大概，就是“松弛感”吧。
不是随便，
也不是没有边界，
而是，
在感知环境之后，
依然允许自己，
轻轻地做一点点开心的事。
而我，只是刚好说了一句：
“可以。”
婷妈的亲子日常 创作于 2026.04.23
原创发布： tingtingma.com
写给孩子，也写给正在成长的大人。
未经授权，请勿转载。
Tingma’s Parenting Diary | #241. It Turns Out Relaxation Is Grown This Way
One morning, before school,
my son suddenly said:
“I need to use the bathroom.”
I felt a little tense inside,
because I was worried about being late.
But there was no other option, so I said:
“Go ahead, but be quick.”
Five minutes passed, and he still hadn’t come out.
I started to get a little anxious.
My tone began to change.
He probably sensed my emotions
and tried to calm me from inside the bathroom.
Then he said:
“Which is more important?
School, or exploding?”
……
I burst out laughing on the spot.
That line was actually something I used to tell him.
When he was younger, he would always wait until the very last moment to go to the bathroom.
So to get him to go earlier, I would tell him:
“If you keep holding it, you’ll explode.”
I didn’t expect that one day,
he would say it right back to me.
So I quietly replied:
“Exploding.”
And then, I just kept waiting.
That afternoon after school, we went to buy a mouth spray.
We first went to CVS—none.
Then to Walmart—still none.
He just followed me from store to store.
We didn’t find it,
but he didn’t complain,
and he didn’t get impatient.
Just as we were about to leave Walmart,
he suddenly asked:
“Mom, can I kick my shoe into the air and make it flip?”
I paused for a moment.
My first reaction was:
Why does he even need to ask me?
But then I realized—
we were in a public place,
and he was actually checking:
“Is this appropriate here?”
I said:
“Sure, why not?”
He immediately kicked his shoe into the air.
It flipped.
And then he smiled.
That kind of smile was light,
but deeply satisfied.
At that moment, I suddenly thought:
This is probably what “relaxation” looks like.
It’s not carelessness,
and it’s not a lack of boundaries.
It’s—
after sensing the environment,
still allowing yourself
to gently do something that makes you happy.
And all I did
was simply say:
“Yes.”
Tingma’s Parenting Diary
Written on April 23, 2026
Originally published at: tingtingma.com
Written for my child, and for the adults who are still growing.
Unauthorized reproduction is prohibited.
Originally written in Chinese by the author.
This English version was translated with the assistance of ChatGPT.